She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
