I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
