Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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