I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
