This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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