this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
