Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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