oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
