i think my tv is drunk
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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