do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
