I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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