Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
