He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize