Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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