maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost