That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?