After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD