So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato