I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching