I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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