we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
