i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
