She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
