Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
