I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
