im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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