he thought i was a dude.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize