new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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