omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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