Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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