it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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