$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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