Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
