just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
