Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
