i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize