Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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