The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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