Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So squirting runs in the family.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
