He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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