I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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