considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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