I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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