tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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