i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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