I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
