Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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