I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
