Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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