ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
