dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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