ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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