i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
