You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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