I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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