Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
