Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
