We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i came on her dog
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
