if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
